The Zero for Four Masterclass

[Verse 1] Oi, check the touchline, the genius is peaking, A tactical sub while the rafters are creaking. Mathew Ryan comes on for the glory and fame, Then stands like a statue and ruins the game! Zero for four—yeah, you read it correctly, Not a single save made, he just watched 'em directly. A specialized sub just to stand in the net? That’s the funniest bottle-job we’ve seen yet! [Chorus] Zero for four! Keep on counting 'em, son, Matty stood there 'til the session was done! Three times in the knockouts, three times you've choked, The tactical masterplan’s gone up in smoke! Zero for four! Handed Egypt the key, You’re the first ones to lose to 'em in history! [Verse 2] Eighteen-year-old Lucas, the pressure was mounting, But Souttar’s a veteran—what was he counting? The kid and the giant both missed from the spot, Giving the Pharaohs the gift of the lot. Egypt had never won a knockout before, 'Til you opened the curtains and showed 'em the door! Three times you’ve made it, three times you've failed, The pride of the ocean has officially sailed. [Bridge] No saves for the sub, no luck for the tall, Just a long flight home with no trophy at all. Souttar and Herrington, memes for the ages, While Egypt is writing the history pages. You didn't just lose, you did it with flair, A 'tactical move' that was just thin air! [Outro] Zero for four! Put the gloves in the bin, You’re the only ones here who forgot how to win! Zero for four! Matty, thanks for the show, Pack up the kitbags, it’s time to go! Three for three in the losses, you’re consistent at least, The biggest collapse in the South of the East!