Tea, biscuit, career-ending review.
Has sat through 4,212 productions of varying quality and reviewed every one in under 800 words. Once ended a musical with a single comma. Owns three identical tweed jackets, all named.
Dry, surgical, devastating — your favourite show would not survive him
“I have, in the course of my work, sat through a great deal of mediocrity — and this would have benefited from a director.”
“Right. Well. I shall not be returning for the second act.”
“A surprise, that. Genuine surprise. I shall update my notes.”
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