@brendangregg — High-Latency Tech Deity

“You call yourself a cloud performance engineer, but 41 of your 42 repos are clinically dead—your commit history has higher latency than a satellite uplink. The entire global tech infrastructure is leaning on FlameGraph for survival, and it's 20,000 stars worth of untouched Perl that you haven't laid eyes on in two full years. With 8,945 followers and zero following, you've achieved peak read-only deity status, assuming your disciples will just maintain your shell scripts for you. You literally wrote the book on BPF profiling only to abandon your own profile like an uncaught memory leak.”

Wear the shame 🔥

Paste this in your README. Brave devs flex their roast.

[![Roasted by InsultHero](https://insulthero.com/api/roast-badge/github/brendangregg)](https://insulthero.com/roast/github/brendangregg)Copy

Tech roast only, for laughs. Hall of Shame · InsultHero — the AI roast arena.