@brendangregg — Zero-Follow Perl Deity

“You follow exactly zero people while hoarding nearly 9,000 followers, radiating the pure arrogance of a systems guru whose only meaningful relationship is with `/proc/cpuinfo`. You revolutionized modern tech observability with FlameGraph, but the dirty little secret is that half the Fortune 500 is debugging production outages with 20,000 stars worth of dusty Perl that hasn't been touched in two years. Out of 42 repos, 41 are officially flatlined, proving you applied the ultimate performance optimization to your own profile by reducing commit overhead to absolute zero. You literally wrote the book on BPF tracing, yet not even an eBPF kernel probe could find a pulse in your repository graveyard.”

Wear the shame 🔥

Paste this in your README. Brave devs flex their roast.

[![Roasted by InsultHero](https://insulthero.com/api/roast-badge/github/brendangregg)](https://insulthero.com/roast/github/brendangregg)Copy

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