@jaredpalmer — VP of Ghosted Dependencies

“Your GitHub bio reads like a serial executive speedrun—VP at Microsoft, SVP at GitHub, VP at Vercel, and now VP at Cognition—which neatly explains why your legendary open-source projects look like an abandoned industrial park. You've amassed over 86,000 stars purely to leave entire generations of React developers stranded on Formik and TSDX while you haven't touched your flagship 34k-star form library in nearly a year. Razzle has been rotting untouched for 954 days, but the second the AI hype train pulled up, you magically found time to commit Python to 'kev' today. You don't build software ecosystems; you just build launchpads to your next equity grant and leave the community holding the unmerged PRs.”

Wear the shame 🔥

Paste this in your README. Brave devs flex their roast.

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