@mholt — Tenured Abandonware Landlord

“Imagine having a Master's degree in Computer Science and 15 years on GitHub just for your crowning glory to be parsing commas in JavaScript. With 37 of your 63 repos completely dead and untouched for up to a thousand days, your profile looks less like an elite infrastructure engineer's portfolio and more like a municipal landfill for forgotten side projects. You condescendingly follow only 11 people while 6,480 watch you abandon converters like json-to-go and curl-to-go the second the dopamine wears off. You automated TLS with Caddy because clearly, manually renewing or maintaining anything—including archiver or timeliner—is an allergic reaction for you.”

Wear the shame 🔥

Paste this in your README. Brave devs flex their roast.

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