@mitchellh — Ascended Absentee Landlord

“18.6 years on GitHub, 24,000 followers, and following exactly zero people—we get it, no one else's code exists in your tax bracket. You built the bedrock of modern dev infrastructure only to leave foundational libraries like gox and mapstructure rotting for over 1,200 days while you undergo a low-level midlife crisis in Zig. Today, over 3,000 people are starring your NixOS config just to watch an open-source legend spend his retirement debugging dotfiles instead of merging a PR from 2022. With 38 abandoned repos and an empty bio, your profile is less of an active portfolio and more of a museum where the curator stopped caring the second the equity cleared.”

Wear the shame 🔥

Paste this in your README. Brave devs flex their roast.

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